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That’s right true believers, the Walt Disney Co. bought Marvel Comics today, for a mere $4 billion dollars! Wait, What!? Disney? Marvel? What?! Well, I guess it’s a good day to be DC Comics.

I was flipping through the channels this weekend, and came across a channel called “Disney XD.” I have no idea what that means, but I thought it was weird that they were playing nothing but Marvel cartoons. Now it’s not so weird. Well, no it’s still pretty weird. I’ve never been a big Marvel fan, but I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Disney has been nothing but bad new for the Muppets… Not once but twice! It looks like we’ll be getting that “Spider-Man: The Musical” sooner than we thought. That’s right, Zack Efron will be playing Peter Parker/Spider-Man and Miley Cyrus will be Mary Jane Watson, in Spider-Man 4 next summer. Can’t wait for that! I really hope that Warner Bros. and DC Comics take full advantage of this mistake, and green light some really edgy kick ass comic book movies.  Boy, and I thought X-Men Origins: Wolverine was bad before, I can’t even imagine it now with a “G” rating. I hope it was worth it Marvel, because it’s too late now. Have fun in the kiddie pool.

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Warner Bros. Drops the Ring!

It was announced last week that Ryan Reynolds has been cast as Green Lantern in the upcoming Warner Bros. feature film. Man, did they screw-up! Look, a lot of people are upset because Reynolds played Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and will be reprising that role in the upcoming Deadpool movie. I could care less about that. Marvel can have him as Deadpool. The reason this casting choice pisses me off, is because Reynolds should be cast as The Flash (Wally West) not Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) in the DC Universe. The best choice for Green Lantern is Nathan Fillion. Hal Jordan is a test pilot and a man without fear. I think Nathan would be more convincing in that role than Reynolds. Wally West is the funny, fast talking, nephew of Barry Allen, a role almost tailored for Reynolds. Not to mention, did you not see that fan made trailer with Fillion as Green Lantern? I’m guessing Warner Bros. didn’t. I really want to see that movie. But, of course with Warner Bros. casting Reynolds as Green Lantern, we’ll never get to, but also he’ll never be able to play The Flash now. It’s no secret that Warner Bros. is dying to make a Justice League movie, and I don’t think they’re going to let Reynolds play two parts in the same movie. Although, this is Hollywood we’re talking about. After releasing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, anything is possible. Look it’s not too late. Let’s get Warner Bros. to realize their mistake. I say, cast Nathan Fillion as Green Lantern and green light a Flash movie with Ryan Reynolds. Then you’ll have two kick ass summer blockbuster movies on your hands, and you’re also two more characters closer to a JLA movie. Let’s start writing those letters and emails, and get Warner Bros. to do the right thing. I know they won’t. But hey, maybe Ryan Reynolds would rather play The Flash. Has anyone asked him? They should.


“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
a review by Darby O’Gill

Well, it’s two years later, and Michael Bay has finally delivered the movie we all feared back in 2007.Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is easily the worst movie I’ve seen in a long time… And I’ve seen “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” so that’s saying something. Everything I was afraid would happen in the first movie, has come to fruition in the sequel, and some things I couldn’t have even imagined. Like what you ask? How about some Autobot, Song of the South, racist Jar Jar Binks robots?! How does that grab you?

SPOILER START
Or maybe a robot that is human?! Don’t worry. They explain how that works… Oh wait. No they don’t! God, I hate this fuckin’ movie!
SPOILER END

The saddest part of all this is that the things that worked in the last film have been ripped out and flushed down the toilet. Bumblebee is still talking with sound bites (that shit is so annoying). And any chemistry between him and Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is long gone. Mom and Dad are back and funny for about a minute. They unfortunately become the clichés you thought they were going to be in the first film. Even Megan Fox’s ass can’t save this movie, and not for a lack of slow-mo trying. I can’t believe I’m even wasting my time writing this. My only hope is that, if I can stop even one of you from going to see this movie, by writing this, it will have been worth my time. My eyes were just raped by Michael Bay for three hours. The worst part is I paid him to do it. The icing on the cake was getting tea bagged by Devastator. They should have called it, “Transformers: More Than Rapes The Eyes.” My God, I’m going to make DreamWorks and Paramount Pictures pay for my therapy. If I wasn’t in such a rush to get to an emergency eye rinse station, I may have stuck around for the end of the credits to see if Michael Bay popped up to say, “Just teasing.*” What a douche bag! Now, if you all don’t mind, I’m going to see “The Hangover” again and try to forget that this ever happened.

*see “Transformers” (2007) DVD review

Rating:

0.5 Little People