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“Back to the Future”
a review by Darby O’Gill

It’s almost hard to believe that it’s already been 25 years since the greatest movie ever made was released in theatres. That’s right! Back to the Future is celebrating its twenty-fifth birthday this year, and yes I said greatest movie ever made! For those of you that know me, I would imagine that that statement comes as no surprise to you, but for everyone else this movie was a huge deal to me growing-up. I went to see it in the theatre two times, which doesn’t sound like much these days, but when you’re talking about a 12 year old kid in 1985, and add to that the nearest theatre was a whole thirty-five minutes away, it’s kind of a big deal. To help celebrate the anniversary earlier this month, some theatres around the country and even the world, showed special screenings of Back to the Future once again on the big screen. As you can probably already guess, I was there to gladly get a third theatrical screening under my belt.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with this movie, I will kindly ask you to remain nameless, for I value our friendship, and wish not to judge you. In Back to the Future, a teenager named Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) worries that he’ll never amount to anything. He also, like most teenagers, can’t relate to his parents and can’t even fathom them ever being his age. Well, that is until early one morning on October 26, 1985, when his good friend Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) introduces Marty to his latest invention… A time machine made out of a DeLorean!? Finally, a time machine with some style! After a series of unforeseen events, Marty finds himself unwittingly transported to November 5, 1955, and face to face with none other than his own teenage parents. Pretty heavy, huh? To make matters even worse, he may have also inadvertently stopped his parents from ever meeting, which as you can image doesn’t bode well for Marty’s future.

I think one of the things that makes this one of the greatest movies, is how amazingly well it holds-up. No matter how many times you’ve seen it, you still get tense at the clock tower scene; as if you thought the movie might end differently this time. Also by labeling 1985 as 1985 and not the present, Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale are able to preserve the movie as a period film no matter when you watch it. The only thing they have to worry about is the future, and they’ve got another 5 years before that’s a problem. Let’s just hope someone can invent the Hoverboad before then, but we’ll get more into that in about 5 years. Let’s get back to the first movie, Back to the Future did a great job of telling an amazingly creative story with a lot of humor and heart. Sadly, a movie like that would never be made today. It’s too big of a chance. Hollywood doesn’t take chances like that anymore. They like to play it safe. Let’s just make sequels and adapt already existing material. Do you realize that filmmakers these days are writing comic books in hopes of maybe being able to get it turned into a movie?! They can’t just write an amazing script anymore. They have to turn their movie ideas into something they’re not, so that someday it might be turned into the movie they wanted to make in the first place. That’s fucked up, people!! Back to the Future would never get made today, and that’s crazy because it has two successful sequels! Exactly what Hollywood wants from a movie these days! We need creative filmmakers now more than ever, and they’re out there. They just can’t catch a break, when the studio executives just want something exactly like that other something that just made money for no reason. Unfortunately, as long as there are sad little “yes men” writers out there, that are more than happy to write whatever they’re told to, the next generation of Steven Spielberg, Robert Zemeckis, and Tim Burton’s will never be heard. Wow, that got really depressing there. Back to the Future greatest movie ever made! See it if you haven’t! See it again if you have!


(of course)


Jumping Gigawatts!

Now, some people think Star Wars, or for others it might even be Indiana Jones, and for some of you younger readers out there it might be The Lord of the Rings. But, for me… When I hear the word trilogy, I think of only one thing, and that is Back to the Future! It’s easily one of my favorite movies of all time, and this year Back to the Future is turning 25. To help celebrate the movie’s silver anniversary there is going to be an event of epic proportions in Burbank, California this November. It will be a full weeklong event, filled with celebrity guests, and unforgettable Back to the Future themed activities. All taking place during the historic week that Marty McFly spent in 1955. From November 5th to the 12th, fans of the Back to the Future Trilogy will do everything from seeing a screening of the original movie at the shooting location of the Twin Pine Mall, to a Battle of the Bands talent show! They’ll even learn how to use a hoverboard from the movie’s original stunt team! And, what better way, to end the weeklong event, than with an amazing recreation of the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance held at the dance’s original filming location. This is going to be a absolute must for any Back to the Future fans out there! I haven’t even told you the best part yet! All the proceeds from the event will be going to Team Fox for Parkinson’s Research! So, fire up those DeLorean’s to 88 miles per hour, and head over to We’re Going Back to buy your tickets now! You would be a total butthead not to!

Be sure to check back here in November for event updates, and a special Stash tribute to the greatest movie ever made!

“The Wolfman”
a review by Darby O’Gill

Well, it’s only February and I think we already have a front runner for next year’s Death Coach Award. The Wolfman is a remake of the 1941, Lon Chaey Jr. original classic The Wolf Man, only this version will never be able to stand the test of time. Universal Studios keeps trying to remake their classic monster films with all the new technology of modern filmmaking, but they never seem to be able to get it quite right. I think their biggest mistake is trying to mix this grand Jayne Austin type of setting, with a classic horror story. They think it highlights the romantic undertones of the monster movie’s original classic story, but all it really does is set-up the movie for failure. I understand that these films are based on classic literature, but they’re also the original horror films, and should be treated as such. Just once, I would love to see how one of these classic monster movies would look if they had used a Friday the 13th approach to the filmmaking. I wouldn’t want them to be hokey. I just would like to see a monster movie try and be scary for once. You don’t have to lose the romance or Victorian setting, just focus more on the monster. The original movies were scary for their time. And in this day and age, it does take more to scare us, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to make one of these classic tales scary. The studios should save their money, by not casting Oscar Award winning actors, or not overly focusing on the film’s cinematography, and just try to make a scary movie that will do its predecessor proud for once. I want to see someone like Rob Zombie remake one of these films. Hollywood can’t seem to wait to remake the modern classic horror films like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, or the Friday the 13th franchisees, and those usually turnout to be really good remakes. But for some reason, when it comes to the true classics, it never seems to cross their minds to have someone like John Carpenter remake The Wolf Man. Why is that?

Okay, so I guess at this point you can tell I didn’t really enjoy The Wolfman. Actually, I hated it! This movie was so long winded, and pretentious, that it couldn’t even die right. I’m not kidding. There is a death scene in this movie that is so laughable, that if you do go to see this in the theatres, you’ll be truly surrounded by the audience’s laughter during the scene. The other thing that totally drove me crazy was waiting for the Wolfman to start playing basketball, or maybe even try to get a keg of beer. Look, I give the filmmakers credit for not making the Wolfman a giant wolf, and trying to keep the classic Lon Chaney Jr. man-wolf look, but the last time we, as film goers, saw this type of werewolf was when Michael J. Fox was in Teen Wolf. I realize that making this type of werewolf work in this day and age is hard, but that was their job on this film, making it work. And, if they couldn’t make it work, then they shouldn’t make the movie! At no point during this movie, should I be thinking about Michael J. Fox and his keg of beer, but I did. Quite a bit actually, and I’m sorry but that ruins the scariness of this movie right there. That’s not to say that they couldn’t have made it work. Rick Baker did an outstanding job on the make-up of the Wolfman, as always. But, they just didn’t utilize how scary they could make this movie. If the Wolfman had been jumping out of the shadows and mutilating people more, I might have found myself a little bit more immersed in this film. Instead, I just found myself waiting for a big choreographed prom dance at the end of the film. Do yourself a favor, and skip it. Rent Lon Chaney Jr.’s The Wolf Man. Or if you haven’t seen it, and that would be a huge crime, get An American Werewolf in London. Hell, I would even suggest watching one of my all-time favorites, Monster Squad before this one, because this version of the Wolfman definitely has no nards!