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“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”
a review by Darby O’Gill

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the fourth installment of the Pirates Trilogy… Yeah, I don’t get it either. Look, I don’t care if you want to make five, or six, or hell even thirty-two sequels to a movie. Just don’t call it a trilogy if there’s even a remote chance you’ll be making more… That goes for you too Scream 4! Once you’ve said the word trilogy, you’ve lost all rights to making more than three movies for that series. You can start a new series that features one of the secondary characters now as a featured role, but that’s it! That’s a rule now. So, let’s stop throwing the “trilogy” word around as loosely as the word “literally.” Sorry, I just had to say something. Now, let’s talk review. Johnny Depp returns as Jack Sparrow… I’m sorry Captain Jack Sparrow, and this time he’s on his own. Well, that’s just to say Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) aren’t joining him this time around, but don’t worry Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) is still around to give Jack a hard time. I’ve enjoyed the last few installments (notice I didn’t say trilogy) of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies… Well not the last one. At World’s End was a total misfire. It just had way too much going on at one time; way too many characters and overlapping storylines, which is also why losing Will and Elizabeth on this one really kind of helped. Although, that’s not to say they weren’t missed. This, for lack of a better word, skeleton crew, felt like it was missing something at times. I’m not sure exactly what it was that was missing, because at the same time it felt like just more of the same old same old, but something definitely felt off. Well, to me anyway.

In On Stranger Tides, some time has passed since the last movie, and Capt. Jack Sparrow finds himself once again searching for his beloved Black Pearl, which leads him to London. He also discovers that unbeknownst to him, Capt. Jack Sparrow is looking to put a crew together. Upon hearing this news, Jack decides to find out exactly who is impersonating him, and thank him for saving him the time of assembling a crew and procuring a boat. But when things don’t go according to plan, Jack finds himself a measly deckhand aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, and under the command of the infamous Blackbeard (Ian McShane). One thing leads to another and you’ve got two crews racing to find the Fountain of Youth. Much like the other films of the series, everyone has their own agenda, and Jack’s playing every card he can to make sure he gets what he wants in the end. Johnny Depp is really great as Capt. Jack! And don’t get me wrong; I’m glad they’re making more Pirates of the Caribbean movies! I think Capt. Jack Sparrow is one of those characters that just lives to be seen on the big screen, like James Bond and Indiana Jones. The 3D is okay. It’s nothing special, but it does help that it was actually shot in 3D and not just converted for the sake of ticket sales. Overall, On Stranger Tides is a nice addition to the franchise. Until next time, drink up me hearties, yo ho!

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“Skyline”
a review by Darby O’Gill

A movie about an all-out alien attack… How can that be bad? Don’t worry, it is. You know how most movies like this usually suck because they over do the storylines, and have a bunch really bad clichéd relationships? Well, Skyline has none of that. No, really. I’m not kidding. There is like no storyline to this movie what so ever. We don’t know what’s happing from beginning to end, and I kind of the think the filmmakers didn’t either. This movie is total chaos. You would almost think that this was a sequel with the lack of information being given, as if we had already been given the back story in a previous installment. For those of you that might have enjoyed this movie. Yes, I do realize there is a story to Skyline. But, I mean… Come on! Really?! I’m not going to give anything away, but come on! Here’s another tip for you. When you want the audience to be surprised, and maybe not see something coming… Don’t show all those things in the tailer! I’m not kidding, every time the tension builds-up, you quickly realize, “Oh, I know what’s going to happen here, because I’ve already seen it in the trailer.” Nice work guys.

Now, this is where I would normally give you a brief description of what happens in the movie, but unfortunately Skyline doesn’t have a story. Here’s the best I’ve got, aliens attack, humans hide, then they run, hide some more, run, die, run… Okay, so I guess I can put it into words. To be honest, that’s probably more then there was written in the actual script. I know it seems like I’m being harsh, but… I’m not. It makes Sharktopus look like Gandhi. Wow, I don’t think I can actually say anything good about this movie. Wait, that’s not true. The score was fantastic! Of course, I’m a little bias. I’m friends with the composer, and it’s probably safe to say it’s the only reason I went to see Skyline. It gets a little drowned out by the special effects at times, but when it gets to shine, it does just that. The cue when the first air strike arrives is really nice. See! I can say something nice. Let’s see, maybe there something else nice to say… How about this? Skyline isn’t the worst movie of the year. It’s got Jonah Hex to thank for that. I don’t think I can recommend seeing Skyline, but I highly recommend picking up my friend Matt’s CD. You can get a copy here, or download it on iTunes.

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